Hellooo...!

Did any of you notice that there weren't any posts on here for over 6 weeks after the promised final date? Of course you didn't. Anyway, I'm back! And there will indeed be some published before Christmas--probably a lot.

In light of the tremendous burden that is high school, I have had to cease publications of reviews for some time, as you have noticed.

Therefore the bimonthly consumer guide will now be published on the last day of each month, in its entirety, dichotomized into the Turkey Shoot and Consumer Guide nominal as usual (before, anyway). Thank you all for your mandatory-so-you-don't-really-have-a-choice cooperation.

"Robot Chicken" [Green-Senreich, 2005] Season 2 [Apr.- Nov. '06] [TV-MA]

A friend of mine, one Connolly Dietrich, once described this show as "boring." But of course, at the time knowing scarcely anything about it, I would not believe him. How could a show that clearly works so hard at being so offensive and outwardly abrasive possibly fail at it, I wondered? But now, having seen it, I understand what he meant, and feel that this sketch-comedy deserves not to be listed as the origin of Tim and Eric, but the other way around. In a fashion that begs a Musical Genome comparison to Bon Jovi, Seth Green and Matthew Senreich put on in their show an apparent display of offensivenss (and, as distinct from Bon Jovi, bizarreness) while in fact removing the most genuinely offensive elements--this practice leads to an end result that like so many should be best described as inoffensive. That, my friend, is how this show--or any at all, for that matter--manages to be so unbelievably, mind-numbingly dull, in an astonishingly similar way to Bon Jovi. However, it is certainly a much less abject case of the aforementioned inoffensiveness than Bon Jovi are, as there is still some genuine offense-inducing stuff here, by its very nature as an extreme-sketch-comedy--hence the higher grade. However, I should still note that like all of my other comparisons, this one makes sense solely within the context of [Adult Swim]. Grade: B

"South Park" [Stone-Parker, 1997] Season 4 [Apr.- Dec. '00] [TV-MA-L(V)]

One of the most astonishingly unchanging shows in A.C. history, this show's all-too-sparse humorous advantages have always balanced out its--you guessed it--all-too-numerous quasi-transcendent/-intellectual defects, thereby proceeding to settle around a B, with regard to overall quality. This is rather depressing news for the show's fans (and creators), but, unfortunately, is nevertheless true. Once again, as in season 11 and season 6, the best episode appears to be the first one, "Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000," but in this case the one that must be tied with it is surely "Cartman Joins NAMBLA," the latter being definitely in the list of top 10 best SP episodes ever--though one of the show's characteristics that is as unchanging (wha...? huh?), as it is altogether strange, is that, as implied above, many of the "worse" ones slack not too far behind--note "The Tooth Fairy Tats 2000" and "Timmy 2000" as some of the numerous runner-ups, while the rest, including "Probably" and "Things You Can Do With Your Finger," are "just bad," so to speak, in the way unique to the show. Grade: B PLUS

You may have noticed that the Consumer Guide is being published before the Turkey Shoot...

...although that is not usually the case. However, this marks the beginning of a further reformatting of UQGTV, for mutual benefit--or mine, at least.

"The Oblongs" [Oblong, 2001] Season 1 [Apr. 2001] [TV-14-DLSV]

This "transparently pseudo-Simpsonian" A.C. has been described by TV Guide as "crude." That is most likely the case, but I think that that TV Guide writer was missing the point here. For what Angus Oblong hath wrought here is very distinctive, far more so than any other AC popular at the time or today, and, proceeding upward from a base level of about B, it has its moments, by all means. But Angus Oblong, who based this show on the illustrated kiddie-scary stories he previously wrote and from which he developed a sense for the grotesque (the residents of the Valley are all horribly mutated from nuclear waste dumped into their city by the affluent residents of the Hills), is clearly trying to imitate Matt Groening. So, basically, how is this show different from the Simpsons? Well, for one, Oblong is probably even more intelligent, and this show's humor has been, from the Simpsons, simplified and made, although it often resorts to complex, even arcane, verbiage. It is also less acerbically satirical than either the Simpsons or Futurama, dealing far softer blows in that regard. However, the show is by no means a very big victory, and is held back, specifically, because Angus Oblong has clearly missed what Groening has always known-- how to amalgamate knowledgeability in certain technical-scientific areas with comedy. But it gets by on its moments, which are unfortunately portrayed as such. Grade: B PLUS

And now, it is time for the September-October 2009 Consumer Guide!

I am sorry I haven't been able to get back to you, my "beloved" readers, sooner.
I can't promise what will appear these next 2 months, except some more South Park, Simpsons, and Scrubs (lotta S's), as well as many obscure--"indie," if you will-- AC's.

"iCarly" [Schneider, 2007] Season 1 [Sep. '07- Jul. '08] [TV-Y7]

This adolescent-comedy show improves on Dan Schneider's previous safe program of the same genre, "Drake & Josh," by, um, being funnier. It is also much weirder, which is primarily what holds the show, including its humor, back. Topic: a webshow hosted by the 15-year-old title character, with her delinquent, masculine friend Sam(antha) and wimp-nerd archetype Freddie [sic] behind the camera. And indeed, its weirdness will occasionally become unbearable, but usually just sits there, so to speak, being an underlying "ideology" (not aesthetic so much) of the show. Grade: B PLUS

"South Park" [Stone-Parker, 1997] Season 12 [Mar.- Nov. '08]

This show, having been tremendously simplified on a grand scale since its creation twelve years ago, has at very, very long last finally come, by precisely those means, to possess some salient virtues. The two most impressive episodes seem thus far to be "Tonsil Trouble" and closer "The Ungroundable," which exemplify what I have just mentioned and are no doubt the best SP episodes yet-- perhaps even worthy of A's, were they not juxtaposed amidst such egregiously-doomed-to-failure political-didactism sessions as "About Last Night..." and (brace yourselves) "Canada on Strike" (admittedly, the latter focuses less on actual politics and more on attempting (not for a societal good, of course) to create a national identity for a country that has never had one), although there are a greater variety of bad South Park episodes than is typical for one season. However, this season's "Over Logging" features South Park's first successful satire (of our society's overdependence on the Internet) and its first successful adaptation of something made by people (or, in this case, one person) with actual talent and focus: "The Grapes of Wrath" by John Steinbeck. I would, as ever, like to give this season higher marks--in fact, really, really badly, since I actually had genuine hope in Messrs. Stone and Parker. But alas, it simply isn't consistent enough. Grade: B

Effective immediately, the Consumer Guide to TV is officially going bimonthly!

This will ensure the quality of the site will remain as high as possible, or at least as high as I feel like it has to be, since I will now have enough time.

"Aqua Teen Hunger Force" [Maiellaro-Willis, 2000] Season 4 [Dec. '05- '06]

This animated comedy has essentially the same modus operandi as Frisky Dingo, only this one is more gritty, realistic, and straight-up outrageous: to carry its comedy forward, there is nowhere Matt Maiellaro and Dave Willis won't go. Having slacked off somewhat here from the astonishingly brilliant work of art that was its second season, there is absolutely nothing (else, anyway) about the show that has changed since then. Two standout episodes: "Hand Banana" and "Carl Wash," in which Carl is, respectively, scammed and raped. And indeed, many of the others seem to fall a little flat. Grade: B PLUS

"Degrassi: The Next Generation" [Moore-Schuyler, 2001] Season 1 [Jul.- Oct. '02]

This extraordinarily dour and quasi-realistic Canadian (De Grassi was originally a street in Toronto) comedy-drama, (aimed at teens, no less), has been around for some 8 years and is one of the most popular shows of its genre in all of Canada-- if not at the top. And indeed, it is clearly rather accessible, given the huge amount of popularity it has attained here in the U.S. as well. But what do we really have here, in the show's very first season? Well, like all dramas, this one being pretty much the archetype of its genre, it takes a bit of time for it to really "grow on you". But once it does, its realism may well strike a nerve, but what really matters here is how much you are able to take it seriously, how untransparent it is as a whole. Don't believe the hype-- not all of it, anyway. Grade: B PLUS

"Frisky Dingo" [Reed-Thompson, 2006] Season 1 [Oct. '06- Jan. '07]

I have always been skeptical of this show, since I never got its awkward sense of humor for quite some time. And indeed, I condemned it to failure in execution in an earlier column I wrote, but I can now safely take that back. It seemed just too good to be true-- that this show could actually pull off what so many others have tried and failed at. But it can-- and it's only a little bit weaker here than in its astonishingly brilliant second season. Grade: A MINUS

"Jonas" [Curtis-Schulman, 2009] Season 1 [May- Aug. '09]

Honestly, who had HIGH expectations for this show? I mean, first the Jonas Brothers, who can't sing, form a band, and now a TV show based on that band's members under a new band name, "JONAS"? And not only that, it's on Disney Channel. It seems virtually like a recipe for disaster-- but-- no, wait a minute, you don't even NEED to lay back and enjoy its comedic brilliance, finding it in every imaginable scenario as only commercial engineers like these Disney employees can-- it's an engaging experience, and perhaps it need not even cede its best-current-Disney-show title to Phineas & Ferb-- perhaps it is even TIED for that honor, given that P&F has been slacking off a bit recently. One of very few modern-day successful Disney Channel programs. Or, "In which the unbelievably dull Disney production studios fabricate the brightest actual pop (kiddie-comedy) TV season of 2009." [Also, I'd just like to apologize that this review is coming so late.] Grade: A MINUS

"Scrubs" [Lawrence, 2001] Season 8 [Jan.- May '09] [TV-PG-DL/TV-14-DLS]

This ER, or Grey's Anatomy, or something (I don't watch shows like that very often) comedization and by extension non-rip has always been quite brilliant, tolerable in times of sincerity, and soft-with-the-blows as regards humor. This hasn't really changed, but the writing has regressed a little bit in this season, in spite of all the rightfully devoted fans of the show who didn't want it to die ("No! Not yet!"). It's a good thing, then, that it has changed so little. Indeed, this season, rounded up a little bit because of my "devotion" to the show, is almost genuinely enjoyable in its own right. How about that for "jumping the shark"? Grade: B PLUS

And Now, It is time for the July 2009 Consumer Guide, featuring good seasons of TV shows.

Among these: Phineas & Ferb, Seinfeld, Scrubs, and The IT Crowd. My uncle introduced me to this last, which is British and significantly better than Garth Marenghi's Darkplace was ever, which is saying something.

"Code Geass" [Taniguchi, 2008 (U.S.)] Season 1 [Apr.- Oct. '08 (U.S.)

This thoroughly Japanese anime drama centers around a boy--younger than me, quite surprisingly-- named Lelouch who, via a strange "The Force"- like power, becomes able to "transform or destroy just about anything"[--Newtype]. He has pledged to use this power to overthrow the foreign dictatorial powers of "Britannia," which has taken over his homeland of (wait for it...) Japan (naw!). He seeks revenge on, more specifically, his dad, who disinherited him upon his mother's death. But he wants to kill the Emperor and overthrow the Britannian government too, rest assured. This isn't really what is put in the spotlight most of the time, though-- instead, it's all the conflicts-turned-drama inside the "system" itself. Once it settles down, this season might actually be worth watching, not that it's all that great or anything. Grade: B PLUS

"Phineas & Ferb" [Povenmire-Marsh, 2007] Season 1 [Aug. '07-Mar. '09] [TV-G]

Too good to be true? Too intelligent (yeah, definitely too intelligent), well-thought-through, indiscriminating, exuberant, and overarchingly funny to be in concordance with Disney Channel's pandering, product-like sitcoms? Yes, it's all true-- but you get used to it soon enough, in fact in practically no time at all. It breaks the fourth wall, be it to "put down" its self-consciously almost-banal plot structure or its self-consciously mediocre, sometimes even dreck-y, accompanying musical numbers. A tremendous, actively irrestistible gem of a show, that deserves to be way more famous. Grade: A

"Chowder" [Greenblatt, 2007] Season 2 [Oct. '08- Jul. '09] [TV-Y7-FV]

This extraordinarily funny and well-executed show, created by an ex-SpongeBob and Billy&Mandy crew-member, combines the exuberance of Phineas & Ferb with the near-utter plotlessness of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, while being nearly as funny as either of these two shows in their prime, and also being about an inexperienced, perpetually hungry, puerile kid chef (the title character) working for a professional one ("Mung Daal"), in addition to his other, older, more experienced assistant/employee ("Shnitzel"). It is an enormous success, and deserves all the positive IMDB ratings, award nominations and more-- little weaker (or stronger) here than in the first season. Grade: A

"Sonny With a Chance" [Marmel, 2009] Season 1 [Feb.- Aug. '09]

No, not your typical 21st-century Disney Channel sitcom-- this one is about two TV shows, one sketch-comedy, one drama, both immensely popular, both being filmed in the same studio. New D.C. creature Demi Lovato, having followed first Hannah Montana, then Miley Cyrus' footsteps by becoming a pop musician, stars in the show as a character on the sketch-comedy, "So Random." Obviously enough, her character's name is Sonny [Munroe]. This show still has some obvious appeal beyond most of its D.C. sitcom kin, and I think that that would be that it is much more conceptually exuberant and self-reflexive in its aura (or whatever) than SLofZ&C, Hannah Montana [the TV show], or, I don't know, Wizards of Waverly Place. It is also a little bit less uncomfortably humorless, which helps too. Otherwise, though, besides the fact that it is new, it's pretty much an ordinary member of its aforementioned category, which is most definitely a bad thing. Grade: B MINUS

"South Park" [Stone-Parker, 1997] Season 3 [Apr. '99- Jan. '00] [TV-MA-LV]

By pushing the humor more up front here, Matt Stone and Trey Parker manage to obfuscate a pleasantly large-- though still nowhere near large enough-- portion of their inability to portray sincere and inherently humorless, even (increasingly so as time goes on) dour, scenarios. This grade may be the same as Season 1, but it is a much higher one. So S.P. more closely resembles the Eagles than the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Hmm... food for thought there, huh? Grade: B

"SpongeBob SquarePants" [Hillenburg, 1999] Season 6 [Mar. '08- Mar. '09]

Okay, now this is grotesque, this is what us SB fans have been anticipating and bracing ourselves for for more than three years now ("At long last"-- not that it's a good thing)-- as a matter of fact, it seems that the new creative monarchs who have taken over this most seminal of animated comedies are completely inept as regards what is genuinely funny- as though they're attempting so impassionedly to usher in a new era of modernity to this show that their artistic ideas may be blown hyperbolically out of their ordinary proportions. Prepare to be visually sickened when you watch this season of this show (not that you should, like, try to or anything). And admittedly, "Slide Whistle Stooges" isn't altogether terrible, in fact, it's essentially the season's best episode. But still, I am dismayed to report that even it isn't all that great. (Second place: "Spongicus/Suctioncup Symphony," in which some of the old genius and spirit of this show is also recaptured.) Grade: C

"Family Guy" [MacFarlane, 1999] Season 2 [Sep. '99- Aug. '00]

Well of course Family Guy had yet to find its groove this early on, obviously it was structurally, conceptually still exactly the same as at its apogee (i.e. season 3), but still, like the Simpsons (only less abject, thank God), it was less focused, less "refined," and overall, [only a little bit in this case] less funny here than in other [later] seasons. Rounded down, just to make a point, important as ever with this show, one which has been rightfully recognized by the public to be (sometimes only) brilliant. Grade: B

"Seinfeld" [David-Seinfeld, 1989] Season 8 [Sep. '96- May '97]

The original "show about nothing"-- or, more specifically, the lives of three everymen (and one everywoman) (relatively speaking, anyway) in New York City and whatever Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld choose to portray as what happens to them therein. It's famous as a sitcom-- not to mention long-lived for a reason-- it's hilarious with nearly perfect consistency (and of course quality). There's really nothing else to say about this show, which definitely warrants your attention, should you have not given it thereto yet. Grade: A PLUS

"The Simpsons" [Groening, 1989] Season 1 [Dec. '89- May '90] [TV-PG]

The Simpsons when it was cruder, less focused, and above all (and as proceeds from this), less funny. Of course this is in perfect compliance with all the rumors, so it seems a little harder to believe, but it is true nevertheless-- I don't want to have to say it, really, but still-- one must avoid this season (not all that hard to do, of course) at all costs. Grade: C

At last, it's time for the July 2009 consumer guide: Z Rock, Sonny With a Chance, ATHF (twice), and more!

Also, I should note that this consumer guide will be divided into two parts: the "Turkey Shoot" (yes, I know Robert Christgau came up with it first), a compilation of bad TV seasons, which began with ATHF's first season, and the featured albums, all of which will recieve grades nno lower than a B PLUS.

"Family Guy" [McFarlane, 1999] Season 3 [Jul. '01- Nov. '03]

This nihilistic animated comedy has attained legendary status, becoming one of the most ineffably famous shows of the 21st century, and quite easily the most famous animated one (The Simpsons had already begun to fade by then). So the first-time viewer just about has to approach this most crudely drawn of shows with trepidation and lofty expectations. Fortunately, these expectations were in fact met-- and then some. That the people who write for this show (not Seth Macfarlane himself, he's just the creator) should be gay is, as so many people now know, a good thing, because they can observe the world and its individual environments from a distance and engineer them to provide humor in what adds up to be tremendous quantities. This does mean, however, that their vocabulary d/b/a/ that of the show's characters is almost invariably about that of a third-grader. Known for its frequent changes of scene (not really flashbacks per se), there actually aren't that many in this season, in which Family Guy is at its very Family-Guy-est. Grade: A

"Z Rock" [IFC, 2008] Season 2 [Jun. '09- cont.] [TV-MA-L]

This show, from a channel (the "Independent Film Channel") that prides itself on its motto, "always uncut," is about a real-life band, named "ZO2," and their multifarious escapades. Indeed, it does master the unedited, quasi-real-life though artificially-created aesthetic better than most, but it is still notable that it is not really all that funny, its unremitting use of expletives (remember the "uncut" thing?) notwithstanding. Grade: B

"Fairly OddParents" [Hartman, 2001] Season 3 [Nov. '02- Sep. '04]

Maintaining a trite, self-contained ebullience that makes Dan Povermire and Swampy Marsh down at Phineas and Ferb seem tremendously, hugely dour and down-to-earth by comparison, Butch Hartman et al. have never been as funny-- not by a long shot-- as he/they would like so much to believe. In its place is-- well, something that would have been there anyway, but becomes all the more prominent in the lack of humor, but anyway-- sheer, unmitigated, thorougly well-founded, rebellious, puerile ebullience, which, when you are appalled in the face of the show's void, may very well leave you feeling guilty-- nah, you'll get over it soon enough. Grade: C (MINUS)

"Aqua Teen Hunger Force" [Maiellaro-Willis, 2000] Season 1 [Dec. '00-Dec. '02]

ATHF before it had successfully found its groove (humorwise, anyway-- the basic structural format of the show has remained nearly identical throughout its history up to season 5 or so, so formalists should not find disappointment here). Otherwise, avoid at all costs. Grade: C PLUS

"South Park" [Comedy Central, 1997] Season 9 [Mar.-Dec. '05]

Well, over eight years, and as I have been told, little about this inexplicably popular, crude (both visually and content-wise) animated Seinfeld rip has changed. Yep, Matt Stone and Trey Parker are still WAYYYYYYY dumber than they obviously think they are, the show is still not really that funny, so the show still falls flat on its face, since it can never venture into the topically transcendent (i.e. extra-comedy) territory it is striving for all too often, leaving the viewer to have to contemplate the (humorous/comedic) void that takes up about three-quarters of the show's duration. Seriously, I feel like Robert Christgau reviewing the Red Hot Chili Peppers- "Oh crap, they have another album out, they're just BAD, can we leave it at that? Really, I would like to like them, given the tremendous, even ineffable, hype. But I just can't seem to find any way around consistently disliking them. (Of course I made all that up myself.) But of course I am obliged to review each offering from them, lest I resent possibly having let a good, even great, effort elude me." Grade: B MINUS

"South Park" [Stone-Parker, 1997] Season 1 {Aug. '97-Feb. '98]

This animated comedy-- one of a long line of Seinfeld rips, some of which I have reviewed-- follows the escapades of [rrrgh i've used that phrase so many times (see above)] four 2nd-grade boys, by the names of [Eric] Cartman, Kyle [Broflovski] (who is Jewish), Stan [Marsh], and the perpetually mute, unassuming (if only by comparison), orange-unabomber-jacket-wearing Kenny McCormick. The real question is as ever (if not more so): Is it funny? Well, no, not really, not all that consistently, but the real malaise crippling this full-fledged quadriplegic of a show is that Matt Stone and Trey Parker's intellectual limits are so severely strained that-- that it's not even funny how obvious it is that it's not even funny. Yeah, that. That leaves you thoroughly aghast when (about 2/3 of the time or so) the show is Not Funny, and of course they actually THINK they're WAYYY smarter than they actually are. So I propose that, a failure at the crude-visual-presentation-but-brilliant-humorous-engineering vehicle (i.e. Home Movies rip, though that doesn't make sense at all because this show (or season, anyway) came before HM) though it is, we "give it credit for wanting it all" (-Xgau, on Oasis) And because it actually is, sporadically enough though, funny. And yet this grade seems altogether too high. Grade: B

"Lost" [Lieber-Abrams-Lindelof, 2004] Season 1 [Sep. '04- May '05] [TV-14]

This archetypal modern drama follows the ridiculously broad escapades of the survivors of a plane crash on some magical island no one else knows about. It features many different characters, to whom you are introduced over time, and each "set" of whom have their own unique plot. But of course you are probably a huge fan of the show and so know this already-- but I'm not, and so don't. It serves as a testament to the ability of a huge budget to increase the quality of a TV show-- this shows through by making the storyline(s) well-written and -defined, but even more so by making the entire show almost completely realistic and believable-- a feat in its own right, if you ask me. And its dialogue writing is astonishingly airtight, brilliant-- but of course all you should need to know is, what does this mean? Well, it all adds up to what has to be one of the five best TV shows of 2004, or, more specifically, one which warrants the colossal amount of attention you have to give its notoriously intricate plot. Grade: A

"Home Movies" [Bouchard-Small, 1999] Season 2 {Jan.-Mar. '02]

Wikipedia describes this animated comedy (about-- well, nothing, like I've always been told Seinfeld was) as "dialogue-driven"-- which in this case means that both the topics and all the show's other facets (the characters' names/traits, those of the locations) are deliberately marginalized, made ridiculously insignificant, just so that brilliant comic engineering (or, rather, the product(s) thereof) can take the spotlight without cessation. Anyway, it's about three kids-- Brendon Small, Jason, and Melissa-- who all make home movies together, and it's surely one of the best comedy shows of the decade so far. Grade: A

"SpongeBob SquarePants" [Nickelodeon-Hillenburg, 1999] Season 2 [Oct. '00-Sep. '02] [TV-Y7]

Spongebob at its very Spongebobbiest (and good for it, too)-- a usually-marketed-to-kids-but-still-altogether-accessible-to-adults animated comedy about a sea sponge (the title character) (who looks like a kitchen one), his two neighbors, a squid named Squidward and a starfish named Patrick, and, of course, many other characters. It has no continual plot-- more than anything else it (brace yourself) is like a much-more-child-friendly (in fact, hawked to them in particular), slightly less funny version of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, one which concentrates on an overall atmosphere of ebullience, which camouflages the fact that it isn't quite as funny as one might be led to expect, where ATHF was almost unremittingly deadpan in its presentation of humor. Not, of course, to diminish the quality of the show, not at all. I only hope this grade is high enough. Grade: A MINUS

"SpongeBob SquarePants" [Nickelodeon-Hillenburg, 1999] Season 3 [Oct '01- Oct. '04] [TV-Y7]

The third season of this surprisingly well-regarded (i.e. perfectly legitimate) animated comedy show bridges the gap between the two eras that constitute SpongeBob history-- the older one, which was genuinely funny, and the later one (possessed by a glossier sheen, as should be ineffable by now), which was... uh, less so. It has not fallen utterly yet here; it is still, by far, more often than not possessed by the well-established comic ingenuity that was the best characteristic of the now-almost-legendary-if-not-veritably-so show. It has, by the way, stayed within the topical confines of its past, ridiculously ambiguous though they are, as much as, say, the Simpsons. Grade: B PLUS

"The Simpsons" [Groening, 1989] Season 20 [Sep. '08- May '09] [TV-PG]

It would appear that in my previous review (of SpongeBob) I spoke too soon: we have another well-esteemed, enduring animated comedy that has both taken a turn for the (extraordinarily of course) unfunny and acquired a new, glossy sheen, both visually and aesthetically: ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... a show of no less ineffable fame than... the longest-running sitcom and animated TV show in America... The Simpsons! Now having stayed almost exactly within the confines of its now nearly-20-years-old mold (you know, topic-wise), it merely strives for humor (and of course fails, coming off as a not-really-all-that-consistent failure, as a matter of fact, which then evens out into the final grade), where the previous, classic seasons actually created legitimate comic gold. A tremendous disappointment in of one of the best, smartest, comedy writers of my generation, Matt Groening. Grade: C PLUS

"SpongeBob SquarePants" [Nickelodeon-Hillenburg, 1999] Season 4 [May '02- Feb. '07]

Yet another legendarily high-quality comedy show to have begun to jump the shark-- this one animated and aimed primarily toward kids, but having historically garnered a quite sizable adult audience as well, because it is actually very intelligent. The problem is as ever (you know, like Aqua Teen Hunger Force) that it has acquired a new glossy sheen (and of production, not just visuals), which, coupled with the fact that it simply is less funny than such longtime fans as me would expect, impels me to give it a grade that I have rounded up because, despite the fact that it is obviously going all downhill from here, I still retain an optimistic hope in the show. Grade: B 

Coming up next: "Lost" and the comedy of Nickelodeon and Disney Channel.

WOW, it really sucks that I can't watch (i.e. review) TV-MA rated shows anymore. Oh, and my little sister Georgia (11 years old) has demanded that I review a reality dog grooming show called "Groomer Has It", and say good things about it (lest she edit my blog), so... It as an endlessly entertaining reality show, and truly stands out among the plethora of mediocre ones in today's TV industry. The Quicksniff challenge is my favorite (i.e. the most riveting) part. Grade: A MINUS

"The Venture Bros." [Publick, 2003] Season 3 [Jun.-Aug. 2008] [Full-length]

A quasi-legitimate hybrid of action/adventure and (taking slightly a backseat here) comedy following the multifarious, surprisingly (except for the whole "legitimate" thing) cohesive escapades of brothers Hank and Dean Venture. Indeed, its amalgamation of the two genres is altogether brilliant, because it manages, owing to its quasi-legitimacy, to capture the very best facets of the "action" (or whatever) genre, while incorporating thoroughly well-written humorous dialogue to capture the best of the comedy genre. It is far better (i.e. more successful) any of the other attempts at genre transcendence found in this column (i.e. that I have yet reviewed). And okay, so maybe it isn't PERFECT per se. But it's pretty freaking close. Grade: A

"Tom Goes to the Mayor" [Heidecker-Wareheim, 2004] Season 2 [Jun.-Sep. 2006] [TV-PG/TV-14]

A side project (of the TV sort) by Tim and Eric themselves, this {{adjective}} animated comedy's stylistic nuances warrant an explanation: the backgrounds and people aren't- they're live-action stillframes updated every 4 seconds or so to maintain some kind of fluidity, however, it is insufficient: the show comes off as abhorrent. Actors include Tim and Eric themselves, playing respectively Tom Peters-- who, at least most of the time, attempts to give "the Mayor" (of a small town named "Jefferton") ideas on how to improve the city, which invariably (essentially) fail and "the Mayor" himself. It, assuredly, is not completely humorless-- there are ever so brief, ever so sporadic, so infrequent glimpses thereof, and that easily elevates the otherwise appallingly deadpan [i.e. TOTALLY devoid of humor] show's grade a full notch. But still, you shouldn't waste your time. Grade: C MINUS

"Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!" [Heidecker-Wareheim, 2007] Season 4 [Feb.-Apr. 2009] [TV-14]

Live-action Robot Chicken for... people with no sense of humor? Naw, just kidding, it's just "surreal"-- executed better than ever was 12 Oz. Mouse, I daresay. I would think that the idea whereby humor is created here is that all these incoherent (between each other and as a united whole, that is), vaguely funny sketches, when piled on top of one another, should generate as much laughs as would a regular, straight-up comedy. And this comedic ideology is executed to utter perfection--only it is inherently kinda flawed, since the humor never builds up to an outwardly desirable level. But of course it is still a good show, and in its own right. Grade: B PLUS

"Saul of the Mole Men" [Lewis, 2007] Season 1 (only) [Feb.-Jul. 2007] [TV-14]

A deliberately, preeningly B-movie/cheese-esque live-action show about (once again, as though it matters) a man named Saul, who is the only surviving member of a crew sent to visit the "mole men" (hence, [show's title]). Once you get past this initial impression, though, you realize that it is surprisingly intelligent--once again, as though it genuinely matters. The problem here is that it relies overwhelmingly on one's appreciation for B-movie/cheese/kitsch for humor (since it apparently has to aim to be comedic, it cannot be taken seriously at "face value"), which of course has never been a very productive source. Something that is of significant help, however, is that since the concept and what appears to be the actual plot is entirely whimsical and so feels as "meaningless" as it actually is, the show's extraordinary, consistent intelligence redeems what would probably otherwise be a C- or so show into a rather better one. So, its almost abject lack of humor is balanced out by its intelligence into something rather surprising... Grade: C PLUS

I Will No Longer Be Reviewing TV-MA rated shows, most unfortunately, since my mom has forbidden me from so doing.

This is why I didn't review "Metalocalypse". Oh, and I apologize for having (accidentally) not reviewed either Home Movies or Family Guy- I will do so when I finish this entire column. Oh- and about the deservedly obscure "Moral Orel" [Stamatopoulos, 2005] [Season 1/2][TV-MA], it is, essentially, sensationalistic (i.e. going as far outside the boundaries of decency as possible) Protestantism-cum-Christianity-as-a-whole satire for formalists (you know, people to whom such structural frivolities as humor don't matter). Grade: C PLUS

"Perfect Hair Forever" [Lazzo-Harrigan-Maiellaro, 2004] Season 1 [Nov. 2004-Dec. 2005] [TV-14]

An extraordinarily crude, sophomoric animated comedy that attempts to parody anime-- that's its modus vivendi, or whatever. Since this is Adult Swim, you shouldn't take the fact that it's "about" a naive, female-voiced boy named Gerald who is semi-bald and so needs to find [show's title] very seriously. What is genuinely important, however, is the extent to which the crude and sophomoric way whereby it attempts to parody anime is to the show's humorous detriment. So... just imagine Frisky Dingo, only about the above topic, completely unsuccessful (at least by comparison) in its comic ideology, and, in addition to being sophomoric and all, surprisingly eroticized-- Gerald's uncle/grandfather Uncle Grandfather has a very scantily clad "schoolgirl companion" named Brenda. Grade: C MINUS

"Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil" [Bouchard, 2005] Season 1 [Oct. 2005-Nov. 2007]

A bizarre, gratuitously violent and edgy CG(quasi-3D)-animated show about the multifarious escapades of [read show's title] that manages to come off as excruciatingly unoriginal (only by AS standards, obviously). This is because of the pro forma-ly banal way in which it is edgy and satirical. But, on to more significant matters: its biggest initial problem is that it tempers its Frisky-Dingo-lite (not to mention relatively sporadic) humor with intermittent bizarreness, often (unsurprisingly enough) of the Satanic nature. Its edginess and relatively bizarre nature- not to mention its animation, which is so bizarre that it even freaks someone as relatively jaded as me out- only exacerbate this problem. But this is only a first impression, which given time will yield, sort of, to a comic ingenuity (still hampered by the aforementioned bizarreness, but not as much) that, alas, fails to attain the lofty ranks of its clear imitator, FD. Loren Bouchard's relatively generic comedic vision simply isn't as successful as Adam Reed and Matt Thompson. Rounded down because of the bizarreness (sorry, but I, once again, can't call it anything else). Grade: B

Consumer Guide for June 2009 [Part 2]: The Comedy of Adult Swim, Part 2

...will begin A.S.A.P. Note: I will not be reviewing every single show that fits into the titular category.

"Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law" [Ouweleen-Richter, 2000] Season 3 [July-Oct. 2005] [TV-PG/TV-14]

This nostalgically animated (and thereof satirical), decidedly weird show follows the legal history of lawyer Harvey Birdman, who was a character in 1960s animated show Birdman and the Galaxy Trio. It is weird primarily from the perspective of how it satirizes the aforementioned classic animated shows- this rather-difficult-to-describe weirdness pervades the show continuously. However, this weirdness (sorry, I can't call it anything else) is to the show's humorous detriment- it diminishes the amount of humor that can show through. Preciesly how much, you ask? Enough- but no more- for me to decrease its grade from what would probably be an A or something to a... Grade: B

“Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace” (UK-originated) [Holness-Ayoade-Brown, 2004] Season 1 [Only] [Jan.-Mar. 2004] [Full-length]

This distinctively, outwardly British live-action, full-length (about 25 min.) comedy is surely the most unique and original show in this column: it’s about a British guy (entirely white, rest assured) named Garth Marenghi, who alleges to write the show to carry on the tradition of the classic tragedies (King Lear, Romeo and Juliet, Superman 2, etc.), and who says that by watching them you are entering his “darkplace” (imagination). It at first comes off as a particularly bipartisan amalgam of comedy and sci-fi, which would explain why it has aired on networks catering to each of those genres. It is presented as a 20-or-so-years-old movie d/b/a TV show, frequently interrupted by video commentary from the people who they want us to think had something to do with the movie. It and its sense of humor is SO f***ing British it is inherently rather insular, but that doesn’t really matter since it is- as far as we’re concerned- very funny indeed. Here’s an excerpt: [Before making love, or something]: Dr. Sanchez: “But we don’t even know each other’s names.” Linda: “Linda.” Dr. Sanchez: “Dr. Sanchez.” [Proceed to “do it”] Its comedic brilliance flowers open for all to see once the initial, surprisingly doggedly sci-fi mien has dissipated. Grade: A MINUS

“Frisky Dingo” [Reed-Thompson, 2006] Season 1 [October 2006-Jan. ‘07]

A animated-people-superimposed-over-real-life-backgrounds show, like, say, The Brak Show, only not as thoroughly consistent or anything, about an evil villain named Killface- who is white, naked, seemingly castrate, and has bird-like talons on his feet- and his multifarious attempts to destroy the world. This all takes place in an archetypal business-like setting, whence humor is derived in a manner quite comparable to The Office. But this bespeaks a deeper, more underlying comic philosophy, one that mines the vein of the artificially-created natural, very most awkward nuances of human interaction for that ever-so-valuable mineral, humor. It’s successful, here, with a very high rate of consistency- it’s just as intelligent as most [adult swim] shows, and has a very well-detailed, intricate net of characters and plot, so it’s rather difficult for me to give you an example of this brilliant, unassumingly distinct comedy at work. Just watch it for yourself- I impel you. Grade: A

“Delocated” [Glaser, 2008] Season 1 [Apr. 2008(Pilot only)-Mar. 2009]

A live-action, extraordinarily short, new, clean, and (only by the standards of this month’s column) genuinely funny show about a family consigned to the witness protection program who move to NYC so that they can star in a reality TV show by the same name (as the real one, I mean). They (Dad’s name: Jon) are forced to wear black, robber-type ski masks at all times (at least as far as we can tell) and Jon, at least, speaks with a clearly fake vocal affect that is both really deep and really weird- it will often become difficult to tell what he is saying. But it is very funny, both qualitatively and quantitatively, and most of these excellent jokes are largely clean and small-scale, as though it relies on excellent, comedic cheap thrills. A remarkable show, one with a thoroughly bright future.
Grade: A MINUS

“The Brak Show” [Fortier-Merrill-Smith, 2000] Season 2 [Apr.-Dec., 2002] [TV-PG-DL]

An animated-living-things-superimposed-on-a-real-world-background show-- kinda like Aqua Teen Hunger Force, but more realistic-- this alas-not-whimsical-enough bizarre-ish show, centering around a very weird-looking creature named Brak, is slightly skimpy with humor, but still (qualitatively speaking) stands head and shoulders above any show I have yet reviewed (a reminder: I'm going through them alphabetically) in this column. Rounded up, since I was in a good mood, or something. Grade: B PLUS

“The Boondocks” [McGruder, 2005] Season 1 [Nov, 2005- Mar. 2006] Full-Length (22.5 mins.) [TV-MA]

This deliberately, tremendously controversy-inciting animated Afrocentric (no duh!) series may very well incite genuine offense in some people, but still makes the kind of points about sociological morasses or problems we all know and have decidedly mixed feelings toward Adult Swim for. If it really has a problem, it’s that it focuses way too much on making these kinds of points, leaving all too little room for humor- it’s almost sensationalistic. And when humor does make an appearance, it is more often than not obfuscated by Afrocentric detail upon Afrocentric detail- but if you’re black, consider my grade instead a B+, maybe even an A-. But if you aren’t, than take everything else I’ve ever said seriously. I really don’t get its universal gush-inducing abilities. Grade: C PLUS

“Assy McGee” [Harrigan-Adams, 2006] Season 1 [Nov. 2006-Jan. 2007] [TV-MA]

Bizarre and rigidly unadaptable though the concept of a walking pair of buttocks d/b/a/ a gravelly-voiced, surprisingly inept cop (who talks out of his a*sh**e when his butt cheeks vibrate, no less), you do in fact get used to it, kind of- you still find it weird that the fact that he has no arms means when he holds, say, a gun, it just floats. So once that has dissipated, what remains? A not-very-funny (but very edgy- contains mature thematic material, partial nudity, violence), semi-crudely-animated comedy intended, obviously, to satirize cop shows. Its precise quantity of lack of humor- which, of course, is all that matters- allows me to give it the following grade, upped a notch because of the humor you notice only in retrospect: Grade: C PLUS

“Aqua Teen Hunger Force” [Maiellaro-Willis, 2000] Season 5 [Jan.-Mar. 2008] [TV-MA]

This veritable classic comedy show has rather jumped the shark: it is largely devoid of the ingenious comedic writing that elevated it to veritable masterpiece status earlier, having taken on a noticeably glitzier, more polished sheen. The comedic writing hasn’t qualitatively regressed so much as quantitatively declined. The plot incoherence is still there, entirely unaffected, but the fact that the original vision of Matt Maiellaro and Dave Willis has regressed this much lays it bare, tremendously to its detriment. You’ll really have to just watch the show (BAD IDEA!) to get what I’m saying. Grade: B MINUS

I Should Note...

that I am trying to, stylistically (not as far as writing goes, not so much) ape the all-too-obscure (he says he's always right, and he is) music-not-TV critic Robert Christgau, only without the whole "leftism" thing- like, totally without it.

“12 Oz. Mouse” [Maiellaro, 2005] Season 2 [Sep.-Dec. 2006] [TV-14/TV-MA]

This absurd, extraordinarily humorless, preeningly crudely and bizarrely animated miniature-series is supposed to have an underlying plot of some sort-- and indeed glimpses thereof are proffered in occasional cryptic lines of dialogue-- so I’d think that the idea is that the entirety of the “plot” is left to the individual viewer’s imagination. To begin on the topic of its absurdity, characters include the main one (a mouse), a pink bespectacled square, a shark, a blue, peanut-shaped police officer, and in episode “Meat Warrior”, some eye-shaped ambulatory beings (who provide one of the few soupçons of humor in the show: when one eye hits another with the butt of his gun, the victim eye says “Ow! Right in the eye.” That would have been terminated by an exclamation point, but this show’s dialogue-ic delivery is ever so doggedly deadpan in nature. The real problem here is that since the plot is obfuscated most of the time, it cannot provide the minimal amount of enjoyment that has to make up for the relative absence of dialogue-ic humor-only exacerbated by its aforementioned deadpan delivery. Upped a notch owing to the occasional incidence(s) of humor. Grade: C

Hi! I’m J.P. Smith, and I review TV shows.

Hi! I’m only 14, but I think that, if I do say so myself, I already understand most of the mature concepts on TV. I think that I’m always right, I guess, since I don’t have any personal biases or prejudices (about TV, of course), but, if you want, you can disagree with me. Feel free to send comments or suggestions of TV shows to review to me at jpaynesmith@comcast.net. I have a penchant for what everyone knows is the easiest genre to swallow/tolerate, comedy, but, even though this month, my very first on the job as a self-declared [unpaid, as of yet] professional, I focus on that genre exclusively, I’m still quite open to any other imaginable genre- I think. Maybe. Anyway, I review TV shows by season, and this month, I am focusing exclusively on the comedy of [adult swim], though I’ll certainly need another month to finish covering it all. I’m working through it alphabetically, so this month you will find... everything you would expect, such as Delocated, the Brak Show, and other (worse) ones.